Houses of Healing

Appreciation Rituals

“Each Night Before You Go to Bed, My Baby”

When we were younger, my husband and I would get in bed at night and spend a few minutes talking about our day. Over the 38 years this custom helped us remain connected even as it has evolved.

Our daily review had slowly turned into noting all the problems we had to deal with. And when that got to be a bit depressing for bedtime talk we just dropped out the whole review altogether. When we noticed we were missing that connection we started up again with a new form – appreciations – and we love it.

At first it was a little forced but now it has grown and evolved into a robust and nurturing tradition.

Our Appreciations

We start by talking about at least three things we appreciate about the day. Sometimes we do have to reach a bit to find three things but mostly many more than three things just come flowing one after the other.

We also add at least one appreciation from each of the following categories:
• What we appreciate about each other
• What we appreciate about ourselves
• What we appreciate about our health
• What we appreciate about our wealth/ prosperity
• What we appreciate about ourselves as the creator of our own life

Plus, every night we rotate through all the members of our family and say at least one thing we appreciate about whose ever turn it is

We also add a thing or two that we appreciate about our dogs. (Yes, we are dog people.)

We end our Appreciations with our intentions for the night and our intentions for what we want to create for tomorrow.

I Don’t Have Time For That

You might be looking at this idea and get tired just thinking about doing it. Maybe it seems overwhelming to you – “I can’t think of that many things to appreciate” or “I don’t have that much time I have to get to sleep sometime tonight”. But that is probably you just being stuck in your old ways.

Really, it only takes about 5 minutes. It is relaxing and fun to do. Plus, it is supportive, nurturing, and soothing, builds a great connective relationship, and certainly helps you sleep better than thinking about all that went wrong that day or all you have to do tomorrow.

You can always find something to appreciate.

I remember the day that our granddog Ko-Hai got hit by a car. We really love that dog and it was such a touch and go day – would he make it or not? Just before going to bed, my son called from the animal hospital and wanted to talk to me about the Vet’s recommendations. The vet thought we should put Ko-Hai down. Ko-Hai was having a really hard time and didn’t look good at all. According to the vet “dogs who get hit by cars going 55 mph don’t live.” My son and I talked at length about what to do. We cried a lot and in the end he choose to let Ko-Hai have his chance to recover.

When I got in bed after that phone call and my husband started our Appreciation ritual, I just cried and said I could not find anything in myself to appreciate that day. But he started anyway saying we had a lot to appreciate:
• Ko-Hai was still alive
• Luckily, the person who hit him knew whose dog he was and came right away to tell us he had hit Ko-Hai. If he had not done that Ko-Hai would have certainly died by the side of the road and we might never have known – just another missing dog
• We could appreciate that we had been able to find Ko-Hai after he had been hit. He had staggered off into the bushes before he fell down.
• We could appreciate that the nearest vet had still been open (it was Saturday) and was able to stabilize Ko-Hai for the hour trip to the Emergency Care Animal Hospital.

Yes, even in the face of something sad and scary and traumatic there were things we could find to appreciate.

Taking the time to appreciate your life changes you in ways you won’t understand until appreciation becomes part of your life. I can tell you all the incredibly wonderful things appreciation does for your biochemistry – real chemical and physical changes. How appreciation helps reduce your experience of stress. How it makes you more creative and intuitive. How your relationships are better when you practice appreciation. And these are all good reasons to make appreciation a formal part of your life. But the biggest gain you get from setting aside time every day – no matter what – to review and savor what you appreciate in your life is that it helps you to live this wonderful life full-out.

Right now -this very moment – pick 3 things you appreciate about today. And now design your own Appreciation Ritual.

And Ko-Hai is fully recovered now and as sweet and loving as ever.

Beat the Cold and Flu Blues with Herbal Remedies

Our approach to colds and the flu is comprehensive and holistic. Just as in our most comprehensive and integral health and wellness programs, it works best to look at the whole person, taking into account many different aspects of wellness health care and then nourish and support the body's own natural means of keeping itself well.

If you've been interested in a more natural approach to colds and flu and in taking better care of your whole self you should know:

Over the counter drugs that are designed to eliminate the symptoms of the cold - ease congestion, stop the cough, soothe the sore throat - actually interfere with the body's protective immune responses. The condition may seem to get better because of the masking of the symptoms but the body's natural immune response have been curtailed.

Over the counter cold remedies do nothing to fight cold viruses or boost the immune responses so they can have little effect on the duration of colds.

Of the five antihistamines commonly used to treat colds, research shows that only one of them may actually help dry a runny nose.

Researchers have found that over the counter drugs may have no benefit for preschoolers.

Decongestants can produce side effects like jitters and insomnia.

Mucus, tears, and saliva are saturated with IgA antibodies. Mucus is a genetically engineered antibiotic substance that contains specific antibodies to your current infection. Thus when you take an over the counter decongestant that dries mucus secretions during a cold or flu you may be reducing your immune responses and contributing to lengthening the duration of your infection. It might be better to take substances that thin and liquefy the mucus and keep it flowing freely with plenty of liquids. 

Herbs like licorice may deal with excess mucus through a moistening action, loosening mucus and making it flow more readily out of the body. Other herbs that may help to do this include marshmallow and slippery elm.

Echinacea and Goldenseal are probably the most frequently used herbs for colds and flu in the United States.

Clinically Echinacea is not generally considered to be a major herb for working with the flu although it is often used as an auxiliary herb.

Research suggest that Echinacea may be particularly helpful at the onset of a cold or flu. If taken early enough in the appropriate dosages it may contribute to heading off a cold or flu.

Once the cold is well established, though, Echinacea by itself is not the most effective herbal approach. After the cold or flu has taken hold Echinacea continues to be useful in combination with other herbs and it helps shorten the duration and severity of the infection. By itself Echinacea does not usually knock out a cold or flu.

Taking Goldenseal in the early stages of a cold or flu may actually make the condition worse by drying up the mucus membranes. This inhibits the mucus, saturated with antibodies to fight the bacteria, virus or other microbes, from working.

Clinically Goldenseal is used for subacute and chronic infections of the mucus membranes but it is not thought to be appropriate for use in the acute stage.

Goldenseal works as a cleanser and anti-inflammatory. It can be helpful at very specific times in very specific doses in a cold. But there is not a single study that shows that Goldenseal works as a cold fighter.

Even better cold & flu herbs ...

Black elder is another traditional herbal remedy that has been shown that it may have good effects on the flu. A recent clinical trail showed that a preparation of black elder ended cases of the flu within three days and also boosted the immune system responses.

Oregon grape can be used as a contemporary substitute for Goldenseal and may be much better than even Echinacea for use with the common cold.

Peppermint contains compounds that can relax the airways and open congested sinuses and nasal passages.

Ginger appears to fight inflammation and pain. It also appears to acts as an expectorant and have warming effects that can be helpful if you are chilled.

Yarrow seems to fight inflammation and muscle spasm and promote sweating. It has long been used against colds and flu.

Thyme is an expectorant and appears to fight microbes. Its flavonoids may help decrease smooth muscle spasm which may assists in opening tight airways.

Mullen is a demulcent which contains mucilagous substances that coat and soothe irritated respiratory linings. It may help to loosen a cough and fight viruses.

More natural herbal remedies ...

St. John's Wort has been shown in test tubes studies to inhibit influenza A viruses and parainfluenza virus but not rhinovirus (a cold virus).

Osha has traditionally been used in the Rocky Mountains as the most important plant for treating respiratory infections. Osha is used extensively to treat colds, flu, and bronchial infections. The tincture or tea is antibacterial.

Boneset is used as a traditional remedy for the flu. In the past Boneset was used as a major remedy for the flu, fevers, and as a general tonic. It has been used to treat both acute and chronic conditions. In one study the immune stimulating polysaccharides in Boneset were found to be ten times more potent than Echinacea polysaccharides.

An herbal bath may be an effective remedy for easing cold symptoms and increasing immune responses. It may help to nip them in the bud. During the bath the essential oils of the herbs are released by the hot water. These oils are believed to be absorbed through the pores of the skin and through the nose and mouth mucus membranes. Absorption through the mucus membranes may bring the oils into contact with the upper respiratory tract where they are able to exert their antibacterial effects.

All of the above mentioned herbal products are available from Evenstar Herbs.  Find what you need in my Evenstar Herbal Products Catalog. There is a special section of Herbal products for colds and flu.

Join Our Healing Council

“ Every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.”--Walt Whitman

Healing is an inter-relational activity. Even though each person has within themselves the power to heal themselves, healing is not a solitary activity. Throughout time, there has been the model of the healer and the one being healed - so it seems that healing involves at least two people partnering for the benefit of one.

Religion has long believed and science is now affirming that when a community – such as a prayer circle or group - comes together their combined power can intentionally influence the health and well-being of another. A Healing Council embodies one of the fundamentals of healing – You are not alone.

Join the Evenstar Healing Council. The only requirement to be a part of the Evenstar Healing Council is that at least once a day- preferably at 8:00 AM, noon or 5:00 PM Eastern time – you bring your attention specifically to your healing and to the healing of the others in the Healing Council.

Please perform whatever healing activity you choose – prayer, visualization, meditation, thought, affirmation, directing of attention or energy - for a few seconds or as long as you wish.

Participation in the Healing Council is totally informal. There is no sign up involved - only you need to know that you are part of the group and you can participate for long as you wish and can come and go from the Council as you wish. No names will be revealed and, of course, you have the option to decline to participate.

“Take care of each moment and you take care of all time.” --Buddha

Family Matters

I found these interesting tidbits in an old issue of Newsweek (April 25, 2005)

Did You Know

• In a survey of 3,000 infants and toddlers published in 2004, researchers found that seven-month-olds are drinking soda. Among 15 to 24 month olds, French fries are the most commonly consumed vegetable. And nearly one quarter of 19 to 24 month olds are not consuming a single fruit or vegetable in a day. Pump Up the Family by Claudia Kalb and Karen Springen

• When one spouse has hypertension, depression, asthma or peptic ulcer the partner’s risk increases by 70 percent. Family Matters by Geoffrey Cowley with Claudia Kalb, Anne Underwood and Karen Springen

• Drawing on data from a 13 year study, psychologist and marriage expert John Gottman found that couples who are most likely to remain happy after becoming parents are those in which the husband admires his wife, keeps romance alive and understands his wife’s inner life. (It helps if the woman reciprocates but, according to Gottman, it’s the husband’s behavior that makes the difference.) And Now the Hard Part by Lauren Picker

• Health care that focuses on families can change entire life trajectories. In one program, where nurses checked in on 400 high-risk low-income teenage girls during their first pregnancy and their first two years as mothers the program sharply reduced abuse, neglect, and injuries. Even 15 years later the benefits were still seen. As teenagers, the children in the study group had 81% fewer criminal convictions than peers from similar backgrounds plus fewer sex partners, less substance abuse and fewer instances of running away from home. The nurses in the study counseled moms on nutrition, and helped them cut back on drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes. They also offered basic instruction in life skills and infant care and worked to keep fathers and grandparents involved. Family Matters by Geoffrey Cowley with Claudia Kalb, Anne Underwood and Karen Springen

Sacred Journey Stories

"I would ask that you remember only this one thing,” said Badger, 'The stories people tell have a way of taking care of them. If stories come to you, care for them. And learn to give them away where they are needed. Sometimes a person needs a story more than food to stay alive." --Barry Lopez

Once a woman has taken a Vision Quest, she joins the Council of Elders. It is important to share her story with others. To tell and retell her story is part of bringing her Vision alive.

As you read the Stories of Those That Have Gone Before, please give appreciation and gratitude to each woman’s sacred story. And may you journey well.

Why not expand your horizons in the New Year with a feminine contemporized version of the traditional Vision Quest?

Take $200 off on my unique Vision Quest for Women program when you register now and mention this promotion.

I signed up for PPP!

Every year I include a couple of new principles to guide me through the year. This year one of my favorite new principles is “If you want different results than you are getting now you have to be different, do things differently, and do different things”.

So, this year I’m striking out and trying many different things that I would not have considered before. I have even started writing for PayPerPost.

PayPerPost offers bloggers opportunities to write blog reviews

The idea is great. I’m really enjoying getting acquainted with the opportunities and seeing which ones are a good fit for those who read my blog. And I think it helps bloggers get more attention for their blog and make some money for the work they put into writing their blogs.

The company seems legitimate, well organized, and professional. They are very timely in responding to questions and reviewing posts. You get the sense that there are live, creative people associated with the project

The opportunities to write about are great. There are some really cool opportunities that I would to let my blog readers know about. I have not seen anything scammy or sleazy.

The one downside to PayPerPost is that unless you have a high Goggle Page Rank the opportunities available to you are slim and you are filtered out of all the really yummy things to write about. I can understand that advertisers want to pay the big bucks to the bloggers that get the most traffic but perhaps there could be graduated pay scale offered where lower page ranks get paid less for the opportunity but are still eligible to write the review. Something so that bloggers who have yet to get the big traffic get a bigger share of the opportunities.

PayPerPost is responding to this situation by unveiling what they call RealRank. I’m not that web savvy so can’t comment on how that might solve the problem but at least they recognize that a creative solution is needed.

I would have really appreciated getting a “Welcome Pack” when I first started that contained all the agreements, requirements for posting, FAQ, etc. All of this is on the website but I spent a couple of days searching around for it.

But all and all I am happy I’m doing it. I like reviewing the opportunities and getting a head’s up about new things coming on the scene. I think the reviews are a great resource to my blog readers. And I like the little bit of extra income I get for my hard work. A win/win for all.

Feel Called to a Sacred Journey?

Joseph Campbell notes four experiential qualities that define the call to a sacred journey:

The call feels like a compelling need not an escape from responsibilities. You have a sense that something is there for you to find and that the truth of your life depends on finding it.

It is a strange thing that somehow feels “profoundly familiar.” You recognize it as yours even though you don’t know anything about it and couldn’t explain it if you did.

You “know” that one part of your life is over with.

You didn’t expect it and you don’t want it but you know that you are being pulled into it by some unseen dynamic.

You might find a Sacred Journey calling to you if…
• You are unsure in which direction your life is heading.
• You have been torn away from a part of your life that you are not ready to leave.
• You are ready to leave behind a life design that no longer works for you.
• You are poised on the threshold of beginning something new in your life.
• You feel adrift and without internal guidance.
• You want to be of service to your community but are not sure what that means for you.
• You have no vision or your vision is unclear.
• You feel a certain discontentment – irritable, angry, and unsatisfied for vague reasons.
• You feel called to an unknown adventure.
• You are questioning your life.
• Somehow, your choices have lost meaning.
• You just know that it is time to journey deep within yourself and give yourself to the unknown tasks.

If this is the time for you to take your Sacred Journey don't pass up this opportunity to take $200 off on my unique Vision Quest for Women program when you register now and mention this promotion.

If you feel that a Vision Quest is right for you or just have questions about a Vision Quest; feel free to set up a time with me to talk about what is happening for you.

You don’t have to be a Genius to manage your finances like one!

Your health, wellness, and well-being are an expression of many factors. They are multi-dimensional and multi-factored, and are impacted by all aspects of your life – including your finances. I can’t tell you how many times issues about money negatively and positively affect people’s perception of their health, wellness, and well-being.

Money is a highly charged issue and your financial situation carries within it many deeply embedded thoughts, beliefs, and hopes and fears. No matter what your income status is, it is to your benefit to learn about money, how to handle money, and how to make money work for you and not against you.

Part of developing a good relationship with money is to understand how it affects your daily life and how you can better manage your financial situation.

FinanceGenius is a nifty online site that is all about giving your information about key money areas such as family savings, budgeting solutions, insurance, mortgages, etc. They provide easy to understand information that will help you learn to make more knowledgeable financial decisions.

Several years ago my son's new car was totaled and he had only made payments on it for about a year. It turns out he didn't have gap insurance and after his auto insurance paid up he still owed thousands of dollars. At FinanceGenius they introduce you to the concept of Gap Insurance and give you resources to help you decide if it would be beneficial for you.

If a client is having trouble with their money, usually they rather avoid the whole money issue and not deal with it. Part of that fear is not really understanding how money works and how to capitilize on better ways of working with money. But whatever the fear about money the antidote is to face it head on and learn how to manage money better.

At FinanceGenius, you will find a financial resource center and partner network, plus articles about financial topics and a questions and answers about financial concerns. I bookmarked the site and you might want to also.

Sponsored content

Rites of Passage

After my last child was born when I was 34 years old, I embarked on an intensive healer’s journey that lasted almost until I turned 50. I explored the more esoteric realms of healing. I experienced the depths of woman’s spirituality under the guidance of Susun Weed. I deepend my Native American roots by being initiated into the Seneca Wolf Clan Teaching Lodge by the Clan Grandmother Twylah Nitsch. And I traveled into unknown mystical / multidimensional territories with a long apprenticeship in Cherokee mysticism.

When I completed that journey, I brought back with me an understanding of our multidimensional nature and the value of honoring and interacting with all the aspects of ourselves. I merged these right brain experiences with my left brain training in psychology and found I had discovered the potency of nature centered therapy and environmental psychology, and the power of rites of passage.

Learning to manage your moods and energy has many aspects.

Yes, you have clear up fundamental physical imbalances and understand how to organize your day and regulate your basic physiology. You also have to understand what your emotions are telling you and how your mind is guiding you through your life. At some point in your healing journey you will most likely find that in order to be truly healthy you “must go off in search of the one life you can call your own” – the place where “out deepest gladness and the world’s hunger meets”.

There will be times in your healing and in your process of emerging as your true self when you will feel that it is necessary to take a more intuitive, symbolic healing path. Rites of passage are time honored traditions designed to reconnect you with the soul of yourself.

Rites of passage are initiations incorporated in community life as a vehicle for making meaningful and important life’s transitions. They are used to mark such events as the onset of puberty, menarche, marriage, divorce and mid-life.

Rites of passage are a means that the community uses to officially recognize the leaving behind of an old phase of life and the embarking on a new role and function in the community. A rite of passage honors your transition and gives meaning to your life changes. There are many initiations you will be asked to undergo as you pass through the different stages of your life.

By traveling deep within yourself, you will connect with your call to embark upon your next initiation. Each initiation offers you the opportunity to grow in grace, wisdom and courage. Each gateway to the depths of yourself requires focused, guided, hard personal work in order to move to the threshold of change.

Why not expand your horizons in the New Year with a feminine contemporized version of the traditional Vision Quest?

Take $200 off on my unique Vision Quest for Women program when you register now and mention this promotion.

Who's in Your Face?

I’m a big fan The Biggest Loser reality TV show.

It’s shocking that the US has the world’s most overweight population- almost 60 million people. Poor diet, too much stress, lack of vacations, sleep deficits – lots of reasons for this predicament.

But that’s not what I want to talk about today.

It is good to be inspired to lose a bit of weight, but here is the thing I find most interesting about the Biggest Loser - it is a great example of an effective change process.

Do you know what is the biggest factor accounting for the lack of success in making health and wellness changes? Take a guess.

Compliance.

The lack of following the recommendations given by your health care provider is the biggest reason for not achieving the health and wellness goals you want.

In one study, those who were compliant with a placebo protocol achieved better results than those taking the same placebo but who weren’t compliant with the protocol. Maybe compliance itself a valuable tool in and of itself for getting the results you are after.

Could it be that the biggest reason for the sad predicament of being the most overweight population is that we don’t have effective change processes that support compliance.

If you look at the Biggest Loser change process, you see several key things:

Contestants are isolated from their families, friends, etc.  – Yes, they lose their regular support networks but they are also taken out of habitual patterns and relationships. And habitual patterns and relationships actually support keeping you were you are – not intentionally but structurally. As Jillian (one of the trainers) observed - removing people from their families and friends helps to remove people from their enablers.

At the Biggest Loser Camp, contestants only do things that are related to their primary goal of losing weight. They don’t go to work. No cleaning house. No friend’s night out. There are no other distractions – it is all about losing weight. Talk about focus.

Contestants learn new strategies about how to take care of themselves in ways that are directly related to achieving their weight loss goal. They change how they eat, their physical activity, how they rest, how they push through obstacles. They learn to be different, do things differently, and they do different things.

The process has a beginning and an end. It doesn’t just drift on endlessly.

There is a huge payoff at the end and big prizes along the way. It is not just one big grueling process. Rewards work.

They have to face the harsh truth about what is happening for them. Big pictures of their fat selves surround them. They dress in outfits that reveal their gross shapes. Doctors tell them straight out what health risks they face if they stay fat. After highlighting for the contestants how fat they actually are and the risks involved, everyone and everything turns the attention to where the constants what to be.

And then there are the trainers – everyone has their favorite trainer but all the trainers share one common characteristic – they are in your face telling you what to do, when to do it, how much to do. 

The trainers are not at all interested in excuses about why you cannot do it. And the trainers are not that interested in how you think it might be done better. You do what they tell you to do and that is what it is all about.

It is evident that the trainers care about the people they work with and they develop some strong bonds with the contestants. But the trainers aren’t afraid to push their people to do what is needed to get the results. The most successful contestants are those who surrender to the process and enthusiastically partner with their trainer doing what their trainer is telling them to do.

Take home lessons:

If you want to get different results, you cannot be the same, doing the same things the same way.

Love your family and friends but realize that all aspects your current life are supporting you where you are. In order to get somewhere different just about everything in your current life will need to be transformed in some way.

Focus, focus, and focus – everything you do should in some way support the new results you want.

Build a grounded structure to your change process by setting realistic target dates and going for them.

Build in rewards along the way.

Give up being delusional. Tell yourself the truth about where you are and what is happening for you. Then place your sights on where you want to be.

Find an appropriate someone (health practitioner, coach, consultant, therapist, friend) who is congruent with your way of working, who you trust to know their stuff, who you relate well with, who supports your values and beliefs, and partner with them - then do what they tell you to do.  Be compliant and follow through.